Post by kyle avery on Apr 14, 2010 3:42:23 GMT
Kyle was wandering through the halls shortly after the ball had rang for lunch hour. As opposed to his usual going somewhere type of gate, which was running with his arms and legs flying about spasticaly, he was walking with his down and his hand in his pockets, pondering the mysteries of the universe.
Then, of course, Kyle wasn't exactly that deep of a person, so for him pondering the mysteries of the universe consisted of wondering about Pavlov's dogs which they'd been discussing in science. When the bell for lunch had rung all the students, previously just focused on being bored, had jumped to their feet talking animatedly about how hungry they were and how wonderful the smells from the cafeteria were. Rancid smells, heavy with meat and under laid with dressing that was far too strong. Kyle couldn't stomach particularly strong things, vinegar dressings, meat, spicy foods. He was by far a fan of milder foods.
Anyways the students talking about being hungry who were previously unconcerned with food got him thinking about the power of suggestion and the effect of the school bells on a human student's psyche. He knew red pen made your heart rate rise. Maybe buzzers were partly responsible for obesity in humans, if it made you hungry whenever you heard one, and all because you had a buzzer that went before lunch at school. What if Pavlov's dogs were hungry whenever they heard a bell ring? For that matter just the drooling matter was bad enough. Honestly? What of when those dogs were doing job interviews or going on a date? They would salivate uncontrollably should they hear a bell, no one would want to be near them and they wouldn't be able to pay their rent! And what if they developed eating disorders!? Could only eat when they heard a bell ring, that was. It was unbearable cruelty it was, how had this man gotten past PETA? Never mind that dogs couldn't talk or get jobs, surely that wouldn't stop PETA, they'd just start a lawsuit against people for not employing dogs. Bill Gates would be the first to go, and then computers would be built by dogs and so they'd want systems that were operable. Pigs after all could play video games, could they not? He was sure there had been a study about that. So Kyle began thinking of a world were dogs owned the computer companies then he remembered a Seinfeld bit. If aliens saw two species walking down the street one carrying the other's waste, who would the assume was in charge. Kyle let out a soft "Ohh", he finally got the joke. This was the dog utopia were they were in charge. Dogs didn't want computers and things because they'd have to work to pay for them then and they didn't now. What was that one line, something about your property owning you? Must be because you had to maintain your property. So if that was the case then trying to get dogs jobs was actually unfair to them. They were like an entire species on welfare! And they were all happy with it, they led comfortable lives and didn't need anything more. That's it! If people just donated the money they would have spent on pets everyone would have a place to stay and food to eat!
Then, of course, Kyle wasn't exactly that deep of a person, so for him pondering the mysteries of the universe consisted of wondering about Pavlov's dogs which they'd been discussing in science. When the bell for lunch had rung all the students, previously just focused on being bored, had jumped to their feet talking animatedly about how hungry they were and how wonderful the smells from the cafeteria were. Rancid smells, heavy with meat and under laid with dressing that was far too strong. Kyle couldn't stomach particularly strong things, vinegar dressings, meat, spicy foods. He was by far a fan of milder foods.
Anyways the students talking about being hungry who were previously unconcerned with food got him thinking about the power of suggestion and the effect of the school bells on a human student's psyche. He knew red pen made your heart rate rise. Maybe buzzers were partly responsible for obesity in humans, if it made you hungry whenever you heard one, and all because you had a buzzer that went before lunch at school. What if Pavlov's dogs were hungry whenever they heard a bell ring? For that matter just the drooling matter was bad enough. Honestly? What of when those dogs were doing job interviews or going on a date? They would salivate uncontrollably should they hear a bell, no one would want to be near them and they wouldn't be able to pay their rent! And what if they developed eating disorders!? Could only eat when they heard a bell ring, that was. It was unbearable cruelty it was, how had this man gotten past PETA? Never mind that dogs couldn't talk or get jobs, surely that wouldn't stop PETA, they'd just start a lawsuit against people for not employing dogs. Bill Gates would be the first to go, and then computers would be built by dogs and so they'd want systems that were operable. Pigs after all could play video games, could they not? He was sure there had been a study about that. So Kyle began thinking of a world were dogs owned the computer companies then he remembered a Seinfeld bit. If aliens saw two species walking down the street one carrying the other's waste, who would the assume was in charge. Kyle let out a soft "Ohh", he finally got the joke. This was the dog utopia were they were in charge. Dogs didn't want computers and things because they'd have to work to pay for them then and they didn't now. What was that one line, something about your property owning you? Must be because you had to maintain your property. So if that was the case then trying to get dogs jobs was actually unfair to them. They were like an entire species on welfare! And they were all happy with it, they led comfortable lives and didn't need anything more. That's it! If people just donated the money they would have spent on pets everyone would have a place to stay and food to eat!
